It feels like we can never do anything the easy way in our house. Do you remember the joy of your newborn baby? All the hopes and dreams you had for them and so much love. How those dreams dissolved slowly over the next few years until finally you heard the A word for the first time. Autism. Your life was not destined to be an easy one but the love for your baby didn’t change. You have spent their lifetime doing everything you can to help them develop and become who you always dreamed they might be.
I have done that four times over. Four boys. Four sets of dreams and hopes. Four boys with classic autism. But also, four boys who have exceeded all our expectations and of whom we are so proud.
I thought having kittens would be easy. Isn’t it for everyone else?
It seemed fitting that our therapy cat had four kittens. I had never heard of a cat having a C section until last week when she needed one. After two days, I collected her and the kittens and a bottle. She had rejected them and was not feeding them.
I tackled it by going into my autism mother mode. Slowly, slowly with infinite patience which I have had to learn over the years, I got her to accept them. My mother would be proud to see me these days, an impatient child who grew into an impatient adult mostly conquering that impatience. My boys have sent me on a steep learning curve.
I have spent many hours with the kittens this week, sitting on the floor beside the box where they huddle blindly, coaxing them to drink a few drops at a time. The mother cat is not able to feed them properly so I am feeding them every two to three hours. I had forgotten how exhausting night feeds are. Lots of hours to reflect.
I thought. Why has this happened? Don’t I have enough to do without having to hand rear kittens? I reflected on why, the eternal question why?
Someone once said to me ‘your boys chose you to be their mother’ ‘they knew you would be able to do the best for them’ when I moaned, why me? Why all four boys with autism?
I have to think the same again. I didn’t choose this to happen, they chose me.
It will be a long four weeks. That magic number again, before I can wean them off the bottles. We will keep two. I have decreed that we will have to keep two so we will have a total of four cats. Four.
I searched online for the significance of this number and found this:
Four symbolizes the safety and security of home, the need for stability and strength on a solid foundation of values and beliefs.
There are four cardinal points: North – South – East – West. There are four phases of the moon. There are four seasons. Four elements: earth – air – fire – water. Number 4 – A Perfect Number.